Finding Balance

I love immersing myself in stories, whether it’s a good book or playing Dungeons and Dragons. Sharing a living space with my husband that also happens to be the Dungeon Master might seem hard. It might seem that I’m privy to more information but the truth is we both make sure we don’t share too much.

The closest I get to knowing anything is when I paint our miniatures. He usually just gives me a list of things he wants done and they usually vary all over the place so I never know when we might face any of them or maybe not at all. I once painted a marilith and was really proud of it but the party managed to kill it without us ever laying eyes on the monster or its miniature.

I sometimes help with the creation of mementos or handouts for the party as well but those are for flavor and making the experience of our players more realistic. They are things like letters of introduction, permits of entry, letters from loved ones, and journals they find or are gifted. I know nothing of what my own story holds or the way the story progresses.

Photo by Sora Shimazaki on

I purposefully make sure I know as little as possible about what is going on. Not enough to deter the party but I usually try to take the back seat in a campaign until everyone else has taken a crack at a problem. I think it’s my way of making sure I’m as fair as possible. I just want to enjoy the story and live in the worlds my husband makes for a little bit and sometimes sitting back and letting the story take you is better than trying to know everything.

Photo by Olya Kobruseva on

My advice to anyone who shares a living space with a DM or if they are your significant other is that: You can help, but try to help in ways that don’t ruin the story for you. The most fun you can have from my perspective is to just enjoy the ride. The way you win Dungeons and Dragons is by playing. The prize is the journey, as cheesy as that sounds.

Whether you are marauding or keeping the peace, having fun with your friends is the best part of the whole adventure. I wish everyone well in their games and happy adventuring!


Published by dndwife

My husband and I run a dungeons and dragons table together and I write about our crazy adventures both in and out of the story. My husband DM's and I am the table artist. I paint minis for everyone at the table and provide crafted gifts like dice boxes, bags, and artwork.

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